One year update. I’m almost back to my highest weight ever. I’m 228 as of this morning, about 60 lbs this year. The changes are intense. I can’t see my toes over my fat gut; l had to lean over to see the scale. I have love handles and back fat and a big pot belly. I haven’t intentionally exercised in months and I’m sure I couldn’t do a sit up at all. I can’t even suck it in. Not that that would help, my ass and thighs (and arms and face) are fat too.

I still work at the same gym, but I mostly do admin stuff now. There was never a conversation about it or anything, but I do wonder if my transition from PT work to desk work was because of my weight gain. Not that I mind, I’m out of breath just walking to work, let alone walking around the gym all day. A comfy chair suits me. I went from a snug medium to being pinched and squeezed in an extra-large.

I grew up kinda chubby (140 my senior of high school) and ballooned up in college to over 250 lbs, but I lost the weight back down to 145-ish and started getting more into fitness and became a group fitness instructor / personal trainer at a gym, stopped reading stories here, limited stuffing myself, etc. I guess I just never got rid of the weight gain itch and/or being lazy/gluttonous because I've been steadily getting heavier. Last looked at the scale at 165, but I can feel my leggings and sports bras are uncomfortably tight, I'm short of breath and embarrassingly jiggly when jogging, etc., especially my first week back post-lockdown closure. I was kinda shocked at the change.

I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of a turn on to get second looks when I turn up to walk a new client around the gym or guide them through the free introductory PT session. I imagine people are wondering what I'm doing there, especially when I'm fatter and more out of shape than the client. I do my own workout in front of the mirrors so I can notice how fat my belly looks trying to make it through like a third of my previous reps of crunches. So, I guess I'm back on the WG train for now.