General

I don't know why but ever since I found out someone in the Community got wls I've been in a very real state of mourning. Going on 8 years since I found out and I still cry when I think about it which is basically all the time. For perspective I loved my mother as deeply as a son could but since she passed I have not been able to cry once in the 2 months since she left us but I absolutely weep several times a week when I think about the other. Also I'm autistic and one of my traits is that things have to make sense through logic and mathematics but a thin person intentionally gaining weight just to get the surgery makes zero sense. If I could just know the reasons for her decisions I feel like I could start to recover and feel human again and not have to pretend I give a shit when people talk to me and then have to say something that seems like an appropriate response because I can't interact with the world naturally anymore. Sorry if I'm rambling. This is a cry for help eight years in the making. I don't know what to do.

This is a certified Go Touch Grass (TM) moment.

Seek professional help. Unfortunately, internet strangers are not equipped to give the support you are looking for. This is not specific to this community; rather, it requires a trained professional. And even if there are any psychiatrists or therapists on this site, they'd agree that this isn't a setting conducive to personal healing.

Highly advise getting yourself into counseling. If someone you don't know has more of an impact on you than your own family, there has to be something internally there to look at, reflect, and heal from.

I've seen countless models get wls, is it a bummer? Absolutely but it also isn't our life and we don't have a say on if they get one or not.
I've learned to see this as be happy it happened because we all got to support them when they were here. Same goes with life in general. Wish you well

Thank you for responding and responding how you all did. I'm sure there's something that needs attention. I just find it strange that it's one singular person. I too have seen many come and go without even batting an eye but there's something about this one. I wonder if it's misappropriated grief over my father's passing about 2 years beforehand because I was not handling that well at all to the point that I probably should have been institutionalized but after I found out about her it's like a switch got flipped and my dad's passing no longer so viscerally bothered me. Thank you again for responding.